I read your blog and the action was pretty well described, but the settings could have been painted into a more detailed image. Like instead of saying they were in The Junkyard and leaving it at that, you could've taken a moment to describe the place a bit more, like "There were rusted-out cars stacked upon each other, blackened scraps of metal from derelict truck engines, and the smell of burnt rubber and exhaust fumes permeated the air"
I'm no writer so I'm sure you can come up with much better images than this. Good luck on your future installments!
Zalfurius
Blogs away!! Good luck man!
J0hnTheF1sherman
Thanks! The first part is up, now. Scheck it out! The second part should be up sometime next week. I won't spoil anything for you, but fans of old-school vampires shall rejoice. (Down with the sparklies!)